Gratitude

                                                                    


Well it is 8:15 a.m. and I have been awake for about 5 hours now. I very rarely see this time of day and when I do I am usually in bed. With CFS I need 12 or so hours of sleep and lets be honest, who goes to bed at 7:00 at night? I am usually not awake until 11 a.m. or 12 p.m. depending on how long it takes me to fall asleep and how well I sleep. 
Lately I have been having a lot of sleep problems due to pregnancy. I wake up 4-5 times in the night and each time it usually takes me a few hours to fall back asleep. CFS people or "chronic fatiguees" as I call them do not function without sleep. They get pretty sick. My doctor can't put me on any more sleep medication than I am on because it isn't safe for the baby. 
Despite the fact that I have been really sick lately, as this has been going on I have felt a wave of gratitude. One of my biggest concerns with my health and having a baby has been being able to get up with the baby through the night and in the morning. Jake and I have planned that we will pretty much need help every night for several months. I am beginning to think it might be possible to wake up every few hours and sleep when the baby sleeps. Right now it isn't working too well because I have to get up and go to work but when I am done working maybe I can nap throughout the day. I am sure I will be a zombie for quite some time but I feel like in a sense my body is preparing to be able to get up for feedings and such. 
This morning after laying in bed for so long I decided to just get up. Mornings are beautiful! I miss them. It has been 7 years since I have been able to wake up at a normal hour and I forgot how peaceful and quiet mornings can be. I have been sitting on the couch thinking about what my life will be like in 6 months. I will see the morning hours with a baby in my arms and I can't imagine a better reason to have my sleep interrupted. Being sick will be a small price to pay for those little moments. I really look forward to being able to have that opportunity. I know Heavenly Father will bless me to be able to do this and for that I could not be more grateful. What a wonderful blessing that my body is starting to get ready for the changes this baby will bring.